The Real Proof the Unisex Movement Is a Hoax

I never really believed much in the unisex movement that began a generation ago. After all, the Bible says "male and female created He them." But just in case you still wonder about it all, I have a sure-fire way of proving to you that there is a world of difference between the sexes. Just go shopping with a woman for a day.

A woman will travel a dozen miles and spend an extra $5 on gasoline to save 15 cents on a bottle of ketchup and feel good about the experience. A man will grab a jar of Del Monte's off the shelf and never look at the price. He just knows that it is the ketchup that pours slower and that's endorsed by Michael Jordan.

A woman will spend an hour of her time (she's paid $15 per hour at work) to clip coupons which will save her $5 at the grocery store. Most men have never willingly used a coupon in their entire lives.

A woman will buy ten cans of gnu meat because it is on sale ten for $3.95, although none of her family really likes it and she probably won't use ten cans of it during the next millennium. Why? It's on sale, you silly thing!

If it is true that a woman has a gene for bargain hunting, it is also true that she has another for comparison shopping. A woman will go into a store and find an item which she likes. She will try it on and find that it fits perfectly and looks great on her. Does she buy it? Certainly not! You know better than that! The game is not over until she has gone to at least a dozen other stores searching for the same or a similar item at a better price. Six exhausting hours later she returns to the first store and the first item and makes her purchase. Her husband is exasperated, but she has only done what any normal woman would do.

A man, by comparison, will walk into an automobile show room and purchase a $30,000 truck in less than ten minutes. As long as it is not pink and has a V-8 engine and a gun rack behind the seat, he's satisfied.

I noticed something else different about women in this regard. When they get home at the end of a shopping day, they have to show off their purchases to every other woman in a mile radius, sort of like a fisherman displaying the catch of the day. I could go on, but I think you have the point.

No, you will never convince me that women are even remotely the same as men. With a Mom, a sister, a wife and two daughters, I've shopped with too many of them to ever be fooled again.

-----Phil LeMaster