The Last Word in Lonesome

Country music icon, Eddy Arnold, died this week at 89, just a few short months after his wife of 66 years, Sally, passed away. Interesting, really, was the timing of his death. Just this morning our Cracker Barrel Men's Group was discussing The Man in a Mirror and how we guys tend to be so poor at social networking. In the simplest terms, we don't have many friends and don't try too hard to make new ones.

Someone in the group made the observation that most men die years before their wives and--if they don't--they die soon after their mates' demise. So it was with this pioneer of "The Nashville Sound." Once a man's spouse and closest friend (perhaps only!) dies, his ability to cope with a world of increasing solitude is often nil.

Not to belabor the point, but of all the songs that Arnold recorded I remember best his 1966 hit, "The Last Word in Lonesome Is Me." It reached No. 2 on the U. S. Country charts and is still heard frequently on radio stations that cater to old-time country music lovers. "The Last Word in Lonesome Is Me!" Yeah, I know that the lyrics really speak of a lost romantic partner, but beneath the surface the pathos suggested by our male isolationist tendencies looms large.

Caught up in family and work responsibilities from early adulthood, many of us males allow our friendships from high school and college to go dormant. Sensing that most of our social needs are met by our wives and our children, we blindly trudge through life, oblivious of our relational needs beyond our nuclear family. Then, one day we look around and notice that our kids are grown and have their own lives,the workplace no longer needs us, and our robust social network of childhood years is nonexistent.

My observation about Eddy Arnold is just that, an observation. Perhaps his social network was intact and strong; I hope so. I'm just wondering about yours, my brother. And mine.